Cursed With Knowledge
by aaeiilnn
Summary: Post-IW. Not Endgame-Compliant. What happened is done and now Tony (with Nebula) is travelling through space as fast as he can to get home, but his brain is working faster and making him think about everything. (aka Tony, angst, and his thoughts)
1. Chapter 1: Peter

**a/n_ infinity war spoilers, my attempt at trying to convey what emotions tony might feel** **after the bizzare happenings in infinity war**

 **INFINITY WAR SPOILERS**

 **Disclaimer: If Marvel was mine, Loki would not have died in the first 10 mins**

\-- _(A)--_

 **Chapter 1: Peter**

The kid wasn't supposed to be there in the first place. He was supposed to be down on Earth, getting out of a yellow school bus, heading towards his home where his Aunt May will welcome him home with open arms and a warm smile.

 _"...so, if you think about it, it's kinda your fault that_ _I'm here..."_

And with the sense of the unstoppable logic and blabbering of the highschool spiderkid, Tony found himself to be at fault that Peter wasn't here as well.

The kid wasn't supposed to be here in the first place, but he was. He was there, and then he was supposedly going back, but he's there again.

Then, he's just gone.

And it scares Tony that that would be the end - that there isn't a way to bring him back.

 _"And if you died, I feel like that's on me. I don't need that on my conscience."_

Maybe it is his fault. For so long, the others have told him that it might not have been the wisest decision to recruit a 15-year old _child_ into his team, but he was so caught up in everything with the Sokovia Accords, his parents, and the traces of New York that haunted him every single day for the past six years.

So he built him a new suit, paired with a new AI. Tony brought him into the team and he almost died so many times in that one single fight in the airport. And when that was over, Peter continued to become friendly neighborhood Spiderman.

 _"I can't be friendly neighborhood Spiderman if there's no neighborhood!"_

Peter thought he didn't make any sense, but Tony understood. The kid was brave and so righteous. So much like a hero, and so unlike Tony.

If the fight with Steve had gone differently, Peter wouldn't have been on his side. And maybe then, he'd be safe even until now.

He tried so hard to keep him safe, but the suit wasn't enough. Karen wasn't enough. Right now, there's no sign that Peter had been here except the small, dust-like remains that Tony had been able to gather in a small container. Proof that Tony wasn't enough.

 _"Tony, I'm sorry."_

His voice is echoing in Tony's head. It's whispering, shouting, screaming, and _crying_ all at the same time Apologizing for something that isn't his fault. Apologizing for something that Mr. Stark had done wrong again.

What if Tony had just forced Peter to go back to Earth from the start?

 _"I don't want to go."_

He can feel him, lying on the ground, holding on to him. The kid kept trying to talk and _apologize,_ and all Tony could do was watch.

He can't remember what he told Peter. Were they words of comfort? Were they exchanging apologies? Was he even saying anything at all? Did it help when the kid kept clutching his arm, trying not to lose him, not wanting to go?

Was it enough?

 _"I just wanted to be like you."_

 _"And I wanted you to be better"_

But now Tony just wants him alive.

 _ **END.**_

\-- _(A)--_

 **a/n_ there may be more chapters like his thoughts about Pepper back on earth or Quill or Strange idk depends hope you liked.**


	2. Chapter 2: Strange

**a/n_** **i know quills would be iNTERESTING but thats next chapter cause this one seems like it should go first anyway ty for the support**

 **Disclaimer: Marvel isn't mine but I'm adopting the characters, they're hurting them too much**

 **\-- _(A)--_**

 **Chapter 2: Strange**

The ship Tony had been in landed ungracefully and the ones the Guardians and Nebula had used was partially damaged in the unsuccessful fight with Thanos, but the last two standing had a talent for putting mismatched puzzle pieces of metals and wires together to create a new picture. With whatever luck they had left, Tony and Nebula managed to get on a ship and out of that planet.

It took less than a day to get to Titan - which according to Nebula was the name of the planet they were in and the exact one that Tony would never visit again - but it was estimated to take them a week back to Earth this time since the ship received damage and they were saving whatever fuel it had left until they get to another planet nearby. But at least the maps told them they were going the right way.

So, that's good.

The ship was big enough for the two of them to have their own space. Tony stayed in his area for most of the journey. His suit was now detached from him and standing on the corner of the room. A part of it that was completely damaged has been removed and placed on a flat metal surface that Tony has been using for repairs.

He hasn't eaten in two days. That morning was supposed to be a _peaceful_ one. Wake up, get ready for a jog, go jog, get something to eat, have a nice brunch date with-

But that didn't happen, did it?

No, he was needed for this. He was _dragged_ into this. All because some Harry Potter wannabe made this portal of some sort and took him on this magic carpet ride full of pain and death.

So much death.

He doesn't understand. Tony can't comprehend why he was even there. What was his suit against stones that could move a planet? What was his genius mind against powers that his science hasn't explained?

He's been called a hero because he shot down aliens and it _miraculously_ worked. But the Chitauri are different from Thanos and none of the things he did even made big and purple try to catch his breath.

 _"All that for a drop of blood?"_

And after that, all he felt was pain.

He was getting mercilessly beat up and was slowly accepting that he was going to die. The amount of times he tried to console himself that at least he died in space seemed like it was impossible to fit in the time he felt he had left.

And then the strangest thing happened.

So very _strange_.

A bargain was made.

A stone that could turn back time and could help wipe out half the population was freely offered up in exchange for the several years left in one Tony Stark's mortal life.

This didn't seem like a fair deal to Tony.

But this wizard who was completely against destroying the stone and possibly stopping Thanos' plans in collecting all six, has decided to give it as a present, like some sort of surprise gift for a child, except it wasn't the child that was surprised.

He begged. Tony begged for him not to give it up. _He wasn't worth it._ Why was this magic doctor not understanding that?

Hopeless, confused, lost, done, but mostly angry. That's how Tony felt. He was _angry_. And when they have settled down and are probably on the way to Earth to help if they can, Tony would let that anger be known.

He didn't even get the chance.

They all slowly disappeared. Strange went with them.

 _"There was no other way."_

Did that mean he lied? That he gave up from the start? That there was no one-in-a-14-million chance? Or was giving up the stone the only way they could win? And if so, how?

Did _Tony_ have to live?

The sound of metal hitting metal was getting louder. The piece Tony was hammering down had been flattened five minutes ago but his thoughts would not let him stop. It sounded loudly through the room and echoed through the ship.

Did Tony have to live? Because if he was asked, he'd rather die than have the stone given up. He'd rather have died after losing all ability to fight back. He would rather have died if it meant that everyone else would live.

His heroic, yet suicidal, tendency and _need_ to put everyone else's lives before his was something the doctor hadn't known. Something he hadn't understood.

Because if he had, then Tony wouldn't be having these thoughts right now.

The makeshift hammer he was using suddenly slipped, nearly hitting his head, almost crushing his other hand, before it fell loudly against the metal surface. A loud shout of his name was a change in the sounds that break the silence in the ship.

Nebula had entered the room but Tony didn't raise his head. When she threw the hammer to the side and forcefully grabbed the top front of his shirt, his eyes shifted to look at her.

"Stark, we don't know each other," she started in a dark tone that matched her black eyes. "But you're going to need me to use this ship, and I'm going to need you to get to your planet and find all the answers. So I can't have you breaking down and killing yourself, you understand?"

Tony just pushed her hand away and picked up the hammer before he started flattening the metal again.

"Sort yourself out, Stark. Your death right now would be useless to anyone, so save it for when you need."

 _ **END.**_

 **\-- _(A)--_**

 **a/n_ peter's chapter was mostly guilt, this was mostly anger, i keep on thinking that he'd be more angry about strange giving up the stone for tony's life than anything... this is the guy that took a nuke to space with possibly no chance of coming back, of course hed rather have died than give up the stone just like that...**

 **so im planning to have a chapter abt quill and other people but still on tony's perspective, Life's_For_Living asked for nebula and tony interactions which i have planned before, included, and am vERY intrigued about so it would be scattered around and about but i dont think id make a chapter dedicated to her unless i think of st also im bad at dialogue but i try ok**


	3. Chapter 3: Quill

**a/n_** **here is the much awaited quill chapter, i hope to not disappoint** **, but the start might be too slow**

 **Disclaimer: Marvel isn't mine. If it was, I would not worry financially.**

 **\-- _(A)--_**

 **Chapter 3: Quill**

The planet they found was interesting. The grass, which covered everything that they stepped on, was pink. And the flowers, from the roots to the petals, were completely red. It looked like a toddler picked their favorite colors with both hands and just colored to their hearts content.

The ship was carefully landed within a forest of dark blue trees so as to not attract unwanted attention. There were no living creatures as far as Tony could see, but Nebula told him that the city is a short walk away so they could stock up on as much food and fuel that they can and head out within the hour.

When Nebula told him that the city of Rllegvui was a small one, he didn't picture it to be a city built for the size of a three-year old. He could see where the city starts and where it ends. If he wasn't careful enough, he could topple over a building and cause a domino effect, ruining an entire city under 10 seconds.

But that wouldn't beat Thanos' 1-second record of ruining the entire universe now, would it?

The citizens only reached up to his knee and were more like soft clay shaped to have little nubs as arms and legs. They had no eyeballs or teeth, but there were dents in places where facial features should be at, as if they were carved.

It really did look like a planet designed by a three-year old.

They stood towering over the city by the edge of it. Surprisingly, no attention was set on them except for one that was approaching them. A Rllei, as these living lumps of clay were apparently called, walked to them and started to talk in the lowest voice he had ever heard, which contrasts the bright yellow appearance that the little guy had. Nebula replied back in their language, and Tony really just felt like he was no help there so he just kept looking at the things walking around and minding their own business.

Peter would have loved this place.

A few more exchanges later, the Rllei walked away as quickly and as excitedly as their little legs could go.

"So," Tony spoke up, "that thing seemed excited."

Nebula nodded. "He is. The Rllei are small, which makes them a bit weak, and ignorant to the rest of the galaxy." She gestured to the sack of scrap metal she had brought when they left Titan. "They need metals for a lot of things but rarely ever come by it, nor do they have much strength to even carry it all the way back to their city. This is a huge price we can give them, for something so trivial to them as food and fuel."

"Trivial? If they had as much food and fuel as they sound like they do, why dont they do something with it? And what do they need the metal for?"

"They don't eat much, they dont need fuel for travelling. It makes them exhausted. I don't care for what they need the metals for. We need food and fuel, they need metals. It's all that matters, Quill."

It's not the first time that happened.

They're estimated to be 3 days away from Earth, if the fuel here would be enough for a faster travel. They've been travelling for five days now, so they would be exceeding the originally expected one week journey.

In those 5 days, Nebula mistakenly called him Quill 4 times. 5 times, if he counts what had just happened.

The third time, he asked her about it. He felt like he should be offended to be mistaken as that guy. She doesn't even realise she does it.

 _"But I suppose you remind me of him."_

He's not quite sure if it's a good thing to be compared to the guy who lost any sort of control and ruined the chance they had to stop Thanos.

Actually, he doesn't like that even _Tony_ himself finds them somewhat similar.

This is the second Peter that he's met and it's terrifying that he's more frustrating than the first.

The kid frustrated him because of his need to do _good_ in the world, in his quest to be _like Mr. Stark._ Tony always felt like the kid should go find another role model.

But Quill was frustrating because he _is_ like Tony.

In the few minutes he's spent with the guy and the few things Nebula had told him about Quill when they talk, Tony picked up on a bunch of things, other than the fact that they both used to pick up girls quite often before this whole chaotic infinity issue started.

He liked to joke around. Found or made things funny to lighten up the mood, even if the mood has already hit rock bottom. A coping mechanism of some sort.

 _"Is everything a joke to you?"_

 _"Funny things are."_

He's confident. He knows his skills and makes sure to use them. Not afraid to speak up. Always has a plan.

 _"I have a plan. Attack."_

 _"Let's talk about this plan of yours. I think it's good, except it sucks. So let me do the plan, and that way, it might be really good."_

He's proud. Not just of himself, but of the people around him. When Quill gave his plan, he wasted no time emphasizing on the strengths of the people that he travelled with. He made sure that each of them would be part of the plan because he knew they could handle it.

 _"Your brother, the demigod. A super soldier, a living legend who kind of lives up to the legend. A man with breath-taking anger management issues. a couple of master assassins, and you, big fella, you've managed to piss off every single one of them."_

But the one thing that terrified him the most was when he tried putting himself in Quill's shoes in _that_ situation.

A situation where he finds out that _she_ died. She, who has made you better. She, who has sacrificed a whole lot for him. She, who he never thought he'd have to live without since the day he met her, had suddenly died.

He lost the only person he'd ever give up the entire universe for.

 _"Threat is imminent and I have to protect the one thing I can't live without. That's you."_

 _"I'm gonna ask you this one time, where is Gamora?"_

And he couldn't even find her. He wasn't even close enough to save her. He wasn't there to bring the slightest bit of comfort. He wasn't there to hear her last words. He wasn't there to close her eyes.

Quill didn't even find out _how_ or _where_ she died, not that it would have made a difference in his actions.

"Let's go." Nebula motioned for him to carry the tanks of fuel as she lifted the sack full of what seems like _delicious_ blue bread easily.

He caught up to her quickly. "You planning on eating all of that?"

She spared him a glance. "It's all yours. Your mortal body is weak. I barely need any food to get by, Stark. Now, focus on getting back to the ship _quietly."_

So, quietly they walked. But the silence gave way to his thoughts again.

What Quill did was completely wrong. Inexcusable and unacceptable behavior. Tony hates that they lost a really good chance of defeating Thanos. He hates that nothing he said was good enough to stoo Quill. He hates that all it took was one word, one name, to make Quill lose all control that he had.

But he hates that he can't be too sure he wouldn't do the same.

 _ **\--(A)--**_

 _ **a/n_ what a journey... its easier for me to have quotes that guide me so i brought them back, had fun with the little planet, cried a bit abt pepperony, and also have been wondering dont you think he would have done that if it was pepper**_

 _ **tbh this feels incomplete but idk its also good enough for me already so here**_

 _ **someone mentioned the stages of grief and um i didnt think that far ahead, maybe i should have used that as a plot device but i completely forgot about it so ch1: guilt, 2: anger, 3: idk what this is... fear of the truth so denial?? (oh look its a stage of grief tyg)**_

 _ **btw am keeping this marked complete bc its supposed to be one shots, it just so happens that the one shots can be connected**_

 _ **also should i mark this as crossover w GOTG to add nebula as a character or would that make this harder to find**_


	4. Chapter 4: Steve

**a/n_ so listen up this isn't one of the deaths tony witnessed but he's on his way back, so might be st he'll think about considering he didn't have time to before he was draGGED AWAY TO DO HERO STUFF IN SPACE anyway enjoy**

 **Disclaimer: MCU and its characters are not mine, but if they give it to me for free then I'd refuse and be too scared bc with great power comes great responsibility and I dont think I can handle it.**

 _ **\--(A)--**_

 **Chapter 4: Steve**

"What was that?"

Nebula looked up when Tony rushed into the room, a bit of panic showing through his eyes. "It was just turbulence. Common when we're going this fast in a ship we rushed to fix and put together."

"Oh." He blinked. "Alright then." He was about to turn and check if his suit was fine when the blue humanoid called him back.

"Where were you?" Tony looked back, confused. Her eyes were looking at him, calculating and curious.

"Down by the generators. Thought that if I'm gonna be in a spaceship for a week or so, I'd better learn something that I might be able to use for the suits or some other project." He chuckled. "Funny story, I was actually looking underneath the generators and hit my head when the turbulence happened. Thought we hit something or-"

"You're bleeding."

"What?" His hand immediately went to his head. The hit wasn't that strong, he didn't expect it to be bleeding.

"Your shirt," she pointed out. "Go get cleaned up. I'll call you if there's any change, though that's unlikely."

Tony looked down at his shirt to see blood slowly spreading down the front. His heart screamed loudly with alarm and panic, but his mind covered its ears taped the screaming mouth shut. He heard himself stutter out some lame excuse ("That'd probably because I scratched myself at the wires or something, you know _generators_.") before leaving to his area of the ship.

In their fight, Thanos was able to stab Tony and it went through his suit and his body all the way to the other side. For the past few days, Tony was able or continuously trying to stash those memories away to the back of his mind.

He wanted to forget the pressure of the blade breaking through his suit. He wanted to forget the feeling of cold metal slicing his skin. He wanted to forget the sound of himself _gasping_ in shock and in pain. He wanted to forget the look on Thanos' face as he placed a hand on Tony's head as one would do to a child.

 _"I hope they remember you."_

He shook his head, as if it would help shake off the memory. Sometimes, the things that you want to forget are the ones that follow you to your dreams.

Tony went to the bathroom (he felt so much relief upon realising there was even one when they first came onboard) and started cleaning up his wound with the medical kit they had found in the Guardians' ship. The shirt which he had also found in a drawer somewhere was now stained with blood and discarded on the floor. He tried his best, but he can't be completely sure of how the wound on his back was since it was difficult for him to actually twist around and see it.

He's not sure why he wouldn't let Nebula help him, or if Nebula even would (she totally would). Call it pride or call it shame. He just felt he would be better off doing it himself.

It's not his area of expertise but Tony dabbled on medical science several times. When he was younger, he had to know how to fix himself up. When there were missions they had to do and he couldn't go to the hospital because it was too much, he had to fix it himself or people would get too worried. He sometimes helped out Bruce. He had to understand pieces of it to help Rhodey out with his leg. Several of the medical equipment in hospitals were provided by Stark Industries. It was a very useful addition, just like what he's done with the suit.

After Thanos had stabbed him, he was able to temporarily seal the suit and his wound with something he had come up with back on Earth with his Stark Industries team. He was also able to add small pieces that might help incase of emergencies. Both of which are helpful in this case that he had finished and was now putting his original clothes back on.

Of course, he didn't have to even think about adding that until Cap had left him at that HYDRA facility because there was always a med team or a _friend_ who'll help after every mission.

But now isn't the time to think about that.

There's so much more to discuss with himself, especially out here in space. All the stars are closer, and he's zooming past them in a spaceship.

Tony looked at them through the window and he puts his hands in the pockets of his jacket. He tenses for a second before forcing himself to calm down.

Okay. Maybe now _is_ the time to think about it.

 _"Sometimes I want to punch you in your perfect teeth."_

Steve Rogers. He's read the files, the comics, the notes his own father kept on him, but none really prepared Tony for the Captain they found in the ice.

First off, this was the guy he was constantly compared to. The name he grew up hearing his own father praise. Tony was excited to meet him at first, but everything just went downhill since they had met in the helicarrier.

Everything Tony did was met with a disapproving look unless it had been something within the rules and in proper etiquette. (Rare, knowing Tony.) So, instead of being compared to this Captain America, he felt like he was being compared to his own father.

Because Tony just can't be enough if he's himself, can he?

(It's amazing, really. Tony's biggest insecurity was never being good enough, and that's what he mainly felt whenever Steve Rogers was there.)

When the accords were suggested, Tony knew that Steve would disagree. With his justice and freedom and distrust with the government, of course Steve wouldn't approve.

But he had to _try_. Tony had to try to make him see sense. There were hundreds of people, families, mourning their loved ones after the missions of their team. Tony _can't_ handle seeing them heartbroken; he can't handle them sobbing and screaming his team's name with curses and hate.

Maybe Cap can't see it because he's always inside and doesn't use technology much. But Tony is a public figure that gets bombarded with these kinds of things almost every single day. Charlie Spencer?

That was just the last straw.

It was when he recognised that they needed to do something about it. They needed to control it. They needed to be one step ahead regarding the safety of the people. Even if it meant working with the government. Because contracts can be negotiated, amendments can be added, corruption can be stopped.

But the deaths they cause can't be undone.

Tony accepted it in the end, he can't change the mind of a soldier out of time. But, god, did he try. It just wasn't good enough.

There was also an unforeseen variable of a new shiny best friend, who is also a soldier out of time.

Tony wanted to understand that he was important. Tony wanted to understand why Steve chose him over everything else. Tony wanted to understand that the things Barnes did weren't his fault. And he did. He understood everything perfectly.

But it was hard to forget that this man was the cause of his parents' death.

Rogers hid that from him. Despite all their differences and small arguments, Tony had thought he knew the man better. But he hid that from him for two goddamn years.

He took the team away. He took his best friend with him. He left the tower empty and silent. He left Tony bruised, battered, and broken with barely anything but his few loyal friends and his endless thoughts.

 _Was what he did wrong?_

Maybe. Maybe in their perspective it was.

 _Would he have done it any differently?_

No. Because he stands by the fact that the people need protection, and that things must be controlled.

Especially if it means the world gets protected from Tony Stark's unstoppable, impulsive actions.

But enough of that. The Accords are through, it never got that far. Sure, some had signed it and were onboard, but no one really cared about it in the end after they had lost contact with Cap and the others. Years have passed, and it doesn't seem like it's such a big deal now. It seems like they had lost everything over nothing.

 _"It doesn't matter who you're talking to or not."_

Now, everything has escalated more than they could have ever hoped. It's time to put all these petty things behind them and work together. Tony can't work to protect the world and everyone he loves if he doesn't have Earth's best defender by his side. Tony can't keep having the flip phone in his pocket as some reassurance but never use it. These ironies have to be set aside.

"Stark," Nebula's voice called out through the ship. "I think we're close."

It's time for them to do what they both believe in.

And that's avenging the world.

 _ **\--(A)--**_

 **a/n_ first off i have not marked this story as complete anymore bc 2 people have told me that ive gotten it wrong so thank you for guiding me in my first attempt at writing here**

 **secondly this might be acceptance part, i have a lot of feels abt civil war, sometimes i like to pretend it doesnt exist but reading _Protocol SOTERIA_ by Golden** **Finches made me even more of a #TeamIronMan than I already am and inspired me throughout this chapter please read the story, i dont blame steve he is a big hearted golden retriever like thor, they (tony and steve) both have their flaws and this was just what i think some thoughts of tony are as they get closer and closer to earth (!!)**

 **if you didnt notice, i only use quotes that tony himself has heard so he didnt hear being called "earth's best defender" by steve as much as i would have liked to use that so i turned it around, hope you saw that** , **also tony tensed when he put his hand in his pocket cause the phone wasnt there**

 **in relation to my first point, im hOPING to keep this story going until tony reunites with solid earth ground ok, still thinking if pepper should live or not, and maybe an epilogue or a what if chapter, anyway hope yall stick around bye**


	5. Chapter 5: Bruce : Rhodey

**a/n_ did not expect to take this long before another update (even tho i should have, knowing me) but rewrote this twice and msdbjwdb here you go**

 **Disclaimer: Marvel isn't mine. I would have crossovered it with all my other fandoms and ruined it... so that's a good thing**

 _ **\--(A)--**_

 **Chapter 5: Bruce : Rhodey**

The Milky Way was truly a sight to behold. The planets were in their perfectly imperfect spherical shapes as they move in their orbit. (Take that, you flat-earthers.) The Earth looked smaller than he had thought it would be, but it was there.

So damn close.

"Can't we go faster?" Tony mumbled to himself as his fingers impatiently tapped on the metal wall he was leaning on. He didn't even bother waiting for an answer because he knew that it would be too risky.

If they went faster, the ship might break into pieces. They might not have enough fuel for more speed. They might miscalculate (unlikely, but not impossible) and hit another planet or something. There were too many possibilities of negative outcomes and it's not worth doing just because they were impatient.

Perhaps if Tony had more time. Or more resources. Or more knowledge about space stuff. Maybe then, they would have gotten back to Earth a lot more quicker. Maybe it would have been faster if there were more heads thinking about this problem than just one humanoid mind and one genius mind.

He'd bet on Bruce Banner.

Sure, What To Do When You're Stuck In Space And Half The Universe Is Wiped Out 101 isn't one of the things he has a PhD in, but Bruce Banner is _amazing_. He's great at all these science stuff and he can handle Tony! That isn't a small thing that you could just ignore.

When Tony first found out he was going to work with Bruce Banner, amazing scientist and incredible green raging monster, it made him more sure that he was going to join this small group of misfits.

 _"Finally, someone who speaks English."_

They worked together and it was perfect (except for the Loki manipulating everyone and Ultron thing that happened). But they did their work and they achieved things together. So when Bruce had planned on leaving the city again and going out of the radar again, Tony didn't hesitate in playing all his cards in trying to make him stay.

He just got a new best friend. Damn the world if Tony lets him get away that easy.

This was a man who needed some sense of confidence stuffed into him, and Tony is willing to shower him with praises until he understands that Bruce Banner himself is amazing with or without the Hulk.

Tony wanted him to loosen up a bit, but he didn't mean "turn into the Hulk everyday". It was more of a "I understand you've been in hiding for a while now but I'm not gonna hurt you so please be comfortable and trust me beause I am _so_ willing to put my life in your hands the moment we met."

Yes, it either sounds like Tony has fallen in love or found a wild animal he wanted to take care of, but he's not an expert on making friends...

So he was willing to work hard for the Dr. Banner to feel welcome. He was willing to put in all his efforts in keeping him safe. He used up all his best insults for Ross when Tony found out that a new plan to capture the Hulk was formulating. After that fight with Ultron, Tony gave his _everything_ in trying to find him. He put some of his best SI scientists on the case of finding the jet. He tried tracking it down as best as he can using his advanced technology. He even went around the coldest areas to the hottest spots in his suit to try and find the doctor himself. All of his efforts had gone to waste.

Suddenly, he was alone again. Well, not really, but it felt that way.

He couldn't find him. Bruce wasn't there when the Avengers fell apart like the worst Jenga game ever played. He wasn't there when Tony was left to pick up the pieces that was left behind or to blast the loudest of his music so he could drown out the silence of the tower. And he isn't here now.

He saw him for the first time in years and the first thing Tony thought was _'I found you. You're never leaving my sight again'_. They were only able to talk for about 10 minutes and that was 100% about trying to stop this new damn purple alien with a bejeweled glove trying to kill half of his planet.

But, _wow_. He was so happy to see him again.

"It's very quiet." Nebula broke the silence as her eyes stared out the same window. "Your place is very different from the others."

"Really? How?"

"Other planets, other galaxies, constantly have ships flying about to travel to other places, gather more resources. It always seemed so busy." She started pressing buttons on the control, her usual routine of constantly checking their ship's condition. "This seems peaceful."

"I've always thought we were so behind in technology," Tony sighed. "Glad to know I was right."

Nebula shook her head. "Your armor is something warriors and soldiers across the universe would kill to have, do not be so dismissive of yourself."

Tony spared her a smile before going back to staring out in space.

"Maybe it's not a bad thing that your planet does not interact with others. That would just increase the wars. There are so many troubles in the rest of the universe you would rather not be a part of."

He chuckled. "Oh, we make up for the lack of wars well enough. And being secluded from the rest of the universe didn't stop this whole trouble with Thanos from reaching us, did it?"

They were silent for a moment after that, just staring at the planets that were slowly getting closer and closer. But still so far away.

"We call this the _Milky Way_ , did you know that?" Tony looked at Nebula to see her staring at him as if she didn't believe what she just heard. " _We do_! I thought it was a good name at first, very fitting. But then I grew up and realised how weird our solar system was named after something we drink while others were given cool names."

Back in the days when Tony was only known to be the child of one Howard Stark, his interest in science was so wide and scattered. Of course, engineering and robotics were always close to his heart because it was the way his father had made it so, but the other sciences were also so _intriguing_.

At one point, he wanted to focus on chemistry. He wanted to study the way different elements would work together, how different chemicals would create the biggest explosion he could make in his own little lab.

Then there was also the time he wanted to do things related to medical science. That's a bit surprising for someone to know about Tony Stark until you figure out it was around the time their butler, his first friend, Jarvis, had passed away. He wanted to create the best medical equipment and the most portable ones so that there would never be deaths in any accidents anymore.

But for the longest time, when he was a child, Tony wanted to work in astronomy. Maybe be the first astronaut to take a piece of Venus to the most beautiful woman he knew - his mother.

He would spend hours and hours looking through his own telescope, watching the stars, creating his own map of the universe. He would wonder how he can use the other things he has learned to travel the planets and come back to tell the tale. He wanted to see if he could make his own star, rather than just name it.

If he was told that he would be looking at the most magnificent view of their solar system that he had ever seen in a ship that he had helped build, he would have expected that it would be Rhodey standing beside him, not some alien humanoid he barely made his friend.

When he had met James Rhodes, he didn't think they would have a friendship that would last. Rhodey was a realist that was always up for following the rules. If you ask Tony, he'd say Rhodey would probably be living as a police officer that guided traffic rather than being a Lieutenant Colonel if they had never met.

Tony was the bad influence. He kept on persuading Rhodey to break curfew just so they could keep working on his project. He would always tell him to cover for him in their classes together. He also always did his best to include Rhodey in his grand adventures (although he always seemed to end up as the designated driver).

 _"We're not drinking. We're working right now."_

 _"You can't have sashimi without sake."_

 _"You are constitutionally incapable of being responsible."_

But Rhodey stood out to Tony as a friend because he was the first, other than his mother, to fuel his curiosity of the outer space and the rest of the universe. Despite him being a realist, Rhodey was willing to listen to whatever theories Tony had. He would ask follow-up questions, nod at the right times, give some of his own thoughts, and just be genuinely _interested_.

Once, when they were younger, playing around in the lab, trying to see if they could spot the other planets from a telescope Tony had his mother purchase recently, Tony promised to create amazing technology that would let both of them go up in space, have a drink, and come back down all in one day or less. Rhodey promised to do the same, if he ever chanced upon a miracle that let him do so.

But years have passed and they've grown more closer but also more distant. They've both grown older and less dependent on each other. More mature and doing their own things.

No more time for mapping out the universe when they're too busy creating a weapon for mass destruction or training in a camouflage uniform.

So they've continued on to pursue their own interests. And while Tony had been a bit depressed when he first realised that they don't even get to talk to each other as much as they did, he was happy that Rhodey was succeeding in one of the dreams he had when he was younger.

Then their paths merged again. Rhodey became the liason to Stark Industries, and then went on to steal one of his Iron Man suit (Tony always said he let him take it). He became an honorary Avenger, and then an actual Avenger, and then his friend who he had to help walk.

That wasn't in the plan. The entire battle wasn't even supposed to happen, but it did, and he had to carry the weight of his decisions.

From the start, Rhodes had always done his best to take care of him. From the start, Rhodes had always tried to make sure he was safe. From the start, Rhodes was willing to clean up Tony's mess and help him learn about actions and their consequences. From the start, Rhodes has always been there.

 _"This lone gunslinger act is unnecessary... you don't have to do this alone!"_

Rather than a friend, Rhodes has always been more like a brother. Like a serious brother that goes to college but is willing to drop everything for his little brother. He's so important to Tony because of everything he's done for him.

The amount of times Tony has saved Rhodes is just a fraction of how much Rhodes has saved Tony's life and everything in it. It's only right that he does everything he can to help him.

But now maybe he can't. Half of his planet is wiped and he doesn't know which of the people he cares about are alive and which of them are gone. Is Bruce okay? Is Rhodey okay? What about Cap?

It is killing him inside even more because this is the first time he's really thought about it. He knows what happened on his side of the fight and that's all he's ever focused on for the past few days because it would be _torture_ to spend his time wondering who is or who isn't. Now that he sees the planet, the thought is taking over his mind and he just wants answers.

He wants to know what happened in their fight with Thanos. Did anyone die before the universe was wiped out? Were they able to provide some sort of defense? Did Thanos take one step onto Earth and win without a fight? Which of them are alive?

So many questions and he's just _trying_ to scratch any surface for answers. The only way he could try to get at least a quarter of his questions answered is if he gets to Earth.

"Your kind is _unbelievable_. You're all idiots." Nebula breaks his thoughts. He turned to give her an offened look but resigned and accepted it.

She stood up and went out of the room. The sound of metal being moved around told him that her paranoid self went to check on parts of the ship they both decided were a bit risky because it was really just scraps melded together in a rush. Her paranoid thinking could really rival Tony's.

His attention was slowly placed back on the solar system in front of their ship. At least the answers are closer now than they were before.

So damn _close_.

 ** _\--(A)--_**

 **a/n_ ok so sorry that this took a while, i really wanted to write abt these two kids but these two would be too similar if i put them in tWO separate chapters so i just put them in one...**

 **theres so much repetition on this one and there might be a lot of mistakes bc i didnt get to reread it as often as i usually do, tbh this would have been longer if i had rewatched IM2 and IM3 but i cant stand seeing tony get hurt ok it hURTS ME TOO**

 **GOOD NEWS THEYRE CLOSE TO EARTH I PROMISE AND IVE ALREADY STARTED THE NEXT CHAPTER i wont jinx it i wont jinx it wish me luck bc guESS WHO ITS ABOUT (its not salt so itsss... duh how obvious)**


	6. Chapter 6: Pepper

**a/n_ yES IM HERE FOR THIS AND I HOPE YOU ARE TOO I LOVE THESE TWO KIDDOS KWBDHWJFN now lets see if i killed her off**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Marvel. If I did, I would have put more domestic scenes like avengers going shopping, avengers cooking dinner, tony meeting pep's parents and being nervous as hell.**

 ** _\--(A)--_**

 **Chapter 6: Pepper**

"Thirty-six bottles of beer on the wall, thirty-six bottles of beer. Take one down and pass it around, thirty-five bottles of beer."

Nebula continued staring at him, looking displeased. "Are you done, Stark?"

Tony looked back at her pointedly. "Thirty-five bottles of beer on the wall, thirty-five bottles of beer. Take one down and pass it around, thirty-four bottles of beer." The song continued on, accompanied by either Nebula's attempts at throwing small scraps of metal at Tony.

"Thirty-four bottles of beer on the wall, thirty-four bottles of beer. Take one down and pass it around, thirty-three bottles of beer. Thirty-three bottles of beer on the wall, thirty-three bottles of beer. Take one down and pass it around, thirty-two bottles of beer. Thir-"

His seemingly endless singing was cut short by Nebula walking up to him in two quick steps and covering his mouth with her hand. He attempted to keep singing through it, but it was muffled. Yes, he started singing from 300 bottles of beer, but was this really necessary?

"Shut up." He struggled a bit more. "Shut up, Stark. Can't you hear it?"

At the sudden and unexpected question, Tony fell silent. He thought that she was making some joke about how silence was wonderful compared to his singing, but he heard a faint beeping coming from somewhere in the room. Nebula slowly let go of him as they both looked around for the source of the sound.

When he found it, Tony felt like slamming his face on the wall for being so _stupid_.

"It's mine." He raised his wrist to show the metal band he had on. "Suit's probably just low on power. It's been beeping for different kinds of reasons now — low battery, low flight power, damaged sensors. It hasn't gone this long without recharging or proper repairs."

He was supposed to keep going, talking about how the suit needed to be repaired in different parts, but he fell silent staring at the familiar, yet unfamiliar message blinking up at him.

 _Connecting..._

"What is it?" Nebula's question went unanswered as Tony suddenly stood up and started pacing. "Stark, tell me what's going on."

"FRIDAY," he practically shouted into the metal band. "FRIDAY, are you with me?"

 _Connected._

"Welcome, boss." The voice sounded real, but Tony didn't doubt that Nebula recognized that it wasn't a real person talking. It got cut off at some parts, but the message was clear. "The signal is difficult to work with right now, but I will try my best to maintain--"

"Is she okay?"

One of the hardest things for Tony Stark was keeping the thoughts in his head silenced or at least turn it down to minimum volume. There were always two or more trains of thoughts rumbling around in his brain that even he could sometimes have a hard time following. He once found himself starting 5 different projects at the same time and almost drove himself insane working on all of it together.

What helped him at first was being ambidextrous. He would have sheets of paper scattered around and every idea he had would be written down somewhere while he was busy writing possible pieces to build another project with the other hand. Yet the multitasking he was doing was something that pushed his mind to think up of more things until it became more of a headache, it hurt his hands, and it wasn't that effective anymore.

The second thing that helped him was JARVIS (and the other backup AIs he had created). JARVIS was the only personal assistant that could really keep up with everything going on in his mind at once. Additionally, JARVIS could also speed up the process by helping with some specifics in the different plans as well. The AI was the most wonderful gift he could have ever given himself.

But the one that Tony was so blessed to have in his life was Pepper.

 _"Will that be all, Mr. Stark?"_

 _"That will be all, Ms. Potts."_

He practiced for a few days to become ambidextrous. He worked for months to completely make sure his AIs would work well, and even improves his current ones until now. But Pepper was the one who marched into his office and into his life to demand him to sign some goddamn papers that have been waiting for his signature for weeks. He didn't see her coming.

Pepper was able to put things out of his head. Ever since she was appointed to be his new assistant, she handled everything as if it was what she had been doing since she was born. Tony was able to let go of a few worries and responsibilities because Pepper has shown that it was something she could take. Just a mere mention of 'don't worry about it' from this wonderful girl calmed his mind and his heart.

Throughout the years that she stayed by his side, he was able to learn how to focus his mind on just one thought — her. It started with including her opinions and thoughts when making decisions (' _I bet Pepper wouldn't be a fan of this one_ ' or ' _Wonder what Pep would do in this situation..._ '). Then it evolved into him personally reaching out to her, whether it's for something important or a sudden how are you.

In a time as important as the one he's in now, a time when he found a way to communicate with his planet after more than a week in outer space, he should have been rattling off enough questions to the point that his smartest AI would be struggling to keep up. He should have been trying to think of more ways to proceed with whatever plans he has now and maybe make it more efficient. He should have been trying to contact the others in the team to get a hold of what the situation is like there. But no matter what kind of situation there is, no matter how important or how life-threatening it is, all he could think about was Pepper Potts and everything about her.

 _"Sir, shall I try Miss. Potts?"_

 _"Might as well."_

Is she okay? Is she safe? Who is she with right now? Does she think he's dead? For the millionth time? Is she gonna hate him again? Oh god, are they gonna get a divorce? Where was she when everything happened? Is she okay? Is she alive?

" _Dammit_ , FRIDAY, where is she?" He shouted after a minute of silence. Nebula was startled for a second, but remain where she was. His AI gave an answer in a disjointed voice, emphasizing on the situation.

"The signal is very weak right now. It's taking a while to transmit any information to where you are."

Where he is is very different from where Pepper is, and he hates that. He hates it as much as he thought he hated Pepper back in the start.

Yes, he'll admit it. Back then, he kind of hated Pepper. She was so hardworking, rule-abiding, organized, and every other characteristic the company (and his father) had wanted from Tony. She was everything he couldn't be.

 _"I am trying to do the job that you were meant to do."_

And it was also a bit of an annoying routine when he first made her his personal assistant. She was generally the first person he'd see when he went outside his room, and she was always holding the pen and clipboard combo of hers that never seemed to leave her hands. Unsurprisingly and unfortunately for him, the clipboard contains a long list of things they have to discuss within ten minutes. (He'd honestly thought it was impossible, but she can make the impossible happen.)

But then the hate turned into something more.

Guilt.

And of course love and care and all that, but he was so, _so_ guilty for making her go through such a hard time when she was doing the things he was supposed to be doing.

 _"What is going on here?"_

 _"Let's face it, this is not the worst thing you've caught me doing."_

His idiotic actions caused her to do more work that isn't even in her job description. His unreasonable antics got her into so much trouble and it made her pull all-nighters while he flops onto his soft bed at 1 A.M. after a few hours of fun tinkering down at the lab. The worst and most selfish thing he's done is make her as attached to him as he is to her.

He felt so sorry for everything he put her through before, during, after, and during (again, _thank god_ ) their relationship. He went from the worst boss to the worst husband real quick (not really, it took a long time) and he doesn't even deserve any of it. He makes her go through all sorts of things, and sometimes he can't even give her a proper explanation.

 _"I've got a lot of apologies to make and not a lot of time."_

It was frustrating cause he tried every single day to make things better and it always feels like he just makes it all worse. And it was also irritating because she was so _nice_ despite everything he did to her.

But the one thing that frustrated him the most was when she just couldn't understand what he was saying or what he was doing. And it _hurts_ so bad because this is Pepper and if she can't understand him, who can?

 _"I don't do well under that kind of pressure. If you need someone to do something like that again, get somebody else."_

 _"I don't have anyone else."_

He isn't talking about the technical things or the scientific parts. That was something they never really get to talk about for hours, and if they did, it's mostly because of the company meetings or Tony chatting about something he wants to try to make. Pepper not understanding the mechanic side of him isn't the problem. It's when he's explaining his anxieties, and she just can't grasp why he's so worried about the world. That's what tears him down.

She can't grasp that he wants to save the world because _she's_ in it.

 _"But, honey, I can't sleep. You go to bed, I come down here. I do what I know, I tinker. But threat is imminent, and I have to protect the one thing that I can't live without.That's you. My suits, they're uh..."_

 _"Machines."_

 _"But they're part of me."_

 _"A distraction."_

She doesn't understand that everything he's built for these past few years are all for her and her safety (it just so happens she lives on Earth), and giving it all up for her doesn't make sense to him in any way, even though he's done so once before. She doesn't understand that things have never been the same since he saw a whole new level of threat back in New York. She doesn't understand that the suits add to this shield that he's trying to build around her. She can't understand that all of Tony's nightmares are a compilation of every single moment he's failed and every single moment he could have failed.

And honestly, that list would be the longest one there is.

He fears the moment of realization that his weapons killed all these innocent people. He fears the second that his 'shield for the world', or whatever he said back then, had turned into Ultron at the drop of a hat. He fears the terrifying image he saw back then of the Avengers dying and dead because he didn't do enough. Pepper leaving him and cutting ties with him almost became one of his fears, but a different memory of her had tattooed its way into his nightmares.

 _"Honey, I can't reach any further and you can't stay there. Alright? You've got to let go. You've got to let go! I'll catch you, I promise."_

Her face as she fell down into the flames was one he had never wished to see, but his mind is his worst enemy so it replays it for him almost every single night. He broke his promise because he didn't catch her, so he failed her and messed things up like he usually does. She fell, and he has no one to thank but the villain down with the devil for ironically saving the main reason he lives.

She never understood, but maybe that's what's best for them — maybe this was the way their relationship was meant to be. Maybe they were supposed to move forward with their wedding rings and their hands holding each other, but one foot out the door. Some wouldn't even want to waste efforts in a relationship like that, but Tony would rather it be that way.

 _"I'm going to sleep downstairs. Tinker with that."_

He'd rather have her with him but ready to leave, than have her completely with him in all his anxieties and worries. He carries enough of them to drag her down with him, and he can't have that. He can't be the one to tear all her defenses down and make her into a mess like him. If she even worries about the things he fears half as much as he does, he's not gonna know what to do- he's going to feel like the end is near, for their relationship and everything else.

 _"You're going to kill yourself, Tony. I'm not going to be a part of it."_

If keeping her safe meant that he has to stop any sort of contact with her, he'd do it in a heartbeat despite a broken heart. If keeping her safe means that he'd have to lay down on the wire so she could pass by safely, then he'd bid them all goodnight and lay down on that wire like it's his goddamn bed. If losing her is ironically the only way he could keep her safe, then so be it. ( _"You wouldn't last a week without me."_ )

In all honesty, he thinks he's undeserving of her. In his mind, he claims to be on a pedestal above others, but Pepper is way above him, it's unbelievable. Clearly anyone who thinks that Anthony Stark is absolutely full of himself and incapable of listening to others has never seen him with Virginia Potts.

 _"I'm just a man in a can. The only reason I haven't cracked up is probably because you moved in, which is great. I love you, I'm lucky."_

He loves her so much, it's terrifying. But everything about her was so good to Tony and every time he wakes up with her beside him, he can't help but wonder how and why she's still there.

This was a woman who had morals he couldn't even compare to. _She_ was his moral compass (though he doesn't always listen) and she was his light at the end of whatever dark tunnel he finds himself in for the millionth time. She was someone who adjusts to his every mood and deals with them like she's been trained to. Whatever crazy antics he ends up doing was solved by her in a few minutes and the amount of times she'd calmly adapted to an unforeseen situation in the company has always struck Tony with awe (because he would have just fired the people involved if he could afford it, and he usually could).

And he loves this woman. He loves her with all that's left of his heart, his mind, his body, and his soul. The fear he has is different from the fears she has, and he's so thankful that she would run away from danger because _that's where he wants her to be._

But, goddammit, _why_ does she keep running back towards him?

Loyalty was one of her strongest suits, and he's so thankful and afraid that it was mostly with him. He loves her for staying with him through everything, but knowing when to step back and make him deal with the situation himself. She isn't at his every beck and call, but she has always got his back and he will always have hers.

 _"I got you."_

 _"I got you first."_

All his thoughts now are so scattered but it's filled with _her_. It's filled with how he feels about her and how FRIDAY still hasn't given a response, and maybe his AI is just trying to mess with him at this point. It's filled with his need to just see her right now because he doesn't even have a picture of her, which he will fix the moment he gets the chance to. He wants to hear her voice and be calmed down within the first word, even if she might be cursing him out for worrying her again.

His mind is filled with all the times he's spent with her. From the time he declared her his personal assistant, to the time she found proof he has a heart, to the time she looked at the huge bunny he got her with confusion, down to the second they said their wedding vows, and the last moment they spent together before this all happened.

 _"Last night, I dreamt we had a kid. So real."_

The thought of starting a family with Pepper has been popping up in his head more often in his head for the past few months. He knows she would be a wonderful mother, and they would have the most beautiful child. And Tony is just determined to be the best father he could be.

He wants a family. He wants to go with them on vacations. He wants to take them all out for ice cream and buy the kid any toy it wants. He wants to stress with Pepper about what crib to buy and carry the baby in his arms so carefully because they're so _fragile_. He wants to put up abstract and colorful drawings on the fridge and plan a surprise visit to Pepper during work hours with a fun weekend planned for all three of them.

For the longest time, he saw company meetings and public interviews in his future. Tony had always thought being a businessman like his father was the farthest he could go. But Pepper had brought a new future with her, and he's just so excited about it. She's wonderful.

She's everything.

He's on his way back home, to her. He's coming back, just like what she wanted. Perhaps a bit later than what she had asked of him, but he's coming back. All he's just hoping for right now is that she's still okay and up to do the dinner plans they had last week.

He didn't realize how long he's been staring at the walls until Nebula had walked to stand beside him.

"Your... friend is trying to talk to you."

"FRIDAY?"

The familiar voice was the focus of his attention once again as it walked in the most solemn voice his AI could manage. "Boss, I believe I have the information you want. There are several people whose situation I should tell you about as well."

He resisted the urge to crush the metal band and throw it to the ground. That's not the answer he was looking for.

"FRIDAY, is _Pepper_ okay?"

A second of silence that felt like hours followed.

"Yes, boss. She is currently at the compound with the other Avengers including previous members. She asks me every day if I can contact you. Shall I update her now, boss?

Tony's knees gave out and he sank to the floor, overwhelmed by relief. He leaned back against the wall and took a deep breath before giving out his command.

"I'll give the message myself. Start recording when I say so and send it to them as soon as you can afterwards."

He looked to Nebula for some sort of reaction, but she gave her usual gaze and a nod that didn't really say much, so he continued with what he was doing.

 _"You're in a relationship with me. Everything will never be okay."_

But he's going home.

And she's there waiting for him.

Everything's okay for now, and that's what matters.

 ** _\--(A)--_**

 **a/n_ this took way longer and i still feel like redoing everything but here it is bc i feel like i cant be content w whatever i do cause i dont have what it takes to really show pepper tony's relationship in its full wonderful, horrible, great detail**

 **the one quote i wanted to add but didnt get to is this: "Wait a minute. I got to ask you something. I'm dead serious about this. I'm not kidding. Am I losing my mind or is Pepper really cute?" because tony is so adorable here gosh darn but i placed too many quotes i think i went overboard**

 **anyway wekwbdjwbrjwj tonys comING BACK WAHOOOO still not next chapter tho but its something ive always thought of doing so maybe wait a while more... btw i heard a rumor that a4 is 5 years after iw and i.. might play w that idea... AM ALSO PLANNING 2 other story ideas, one is still tony centric but the other might be a mix w other tv shows and movies but still avengers uwhdjs stay tuned woo**


	7. Chapter 7: Black Sabbath

**a/n_ we're at my favorite number kwbdjsbd this is the second to the last and im debating on putting an extra chapter which is kinda an extra scene of nebula and tony when they were still stuck in space but still idk**

 **Disclaimer: If I owned Marvel, the wait for each movie would be less for me bc I love it all but more for you cause I love torture**

 ** _\--(A)--_**

 **Chapter 7: Black Sabbath**

It's a really weird feeling, to know what happened but to still be completely clueless about it at the same time. When you're in class and the teachers asks you if you get it, maybe you said yes. But a few minutes later, it hits you that you maybe never really got it at all. Still, it feels like you get it and your brain can answer the question, but a voice in your head is just questioning everything. Multiply that feeling by the number of stars in the sky and maybe it'll match the state of confusion that the rest of Earth was left in. The grief of losing all these people was overpowered by the disbelief and plain confusion that they felt because everything happened in a snap.

Literally. Just a snap and they were gone. They lost.

It's been ten days since the event that cut Earth's population down to less than the original half, and it has been a week since the government has decided to release as much information they've decided the world has to know.

Whoever was left on Earth now knew that it was another alien encounter. They knew the Avengers were called in, and that Wakanda had offered their services. They knew some of the who's, and the what's, and the where's. No one can really explain the magical aspect of the how's, except that it was alien technology. But the public wasn't given the knowledge of the why's.

Mostly because the people giving the explanations and answers had no idea themselves. And the ones who did know the reason, can't bring themselves to explain it to the people they've failed.

As soon as they can, political leaders began demanding answers from each other, even going as far as threatening to bomb each other with missiles. No one could really step up, even President Ellis, leader of the so-called Free World, was at a loss on what to say. So the meeting was delayed. The world still didn't have an answer.

Captain Rogers stepped up. He was in a room with what was left of his broken team, and he voiced out what he thought. He thought he should be the one to explain everything to the people, given that he used to lead the team that had marched in the front lines (and the current leader was still missing. Not dead, just _missing_ ). Perhaps he could do a video recording, like he did for the schools, and honestly explain the situation.

 _But you're not a trusted public figure,_ Natasha had pointed out. If the people felt like they were living a nightmare where they lost everyone important to them, then the least they could do is not give them the information they want via someone they had last heard to be a dangerous fugitive.

Rhodes was quick to agree as he added another point. He thought it wouldn't be a good idea to just give information to the people without passing it through the governments of each country. When the captain showed a sign of hesitancy, the colonel insisted that more trouble would just arise if they didn't go through the process properly.

There wasn't really a process for 'We Lost More Than Half The Population To An Alien Who Snapped Their Finger', but the rest of the team ended up agreeing with his point.

Colonel Rhodes, being the military man, lead the group that marched before the world leaders to offer an explanation. Steve Rogers walked on his left side, and Natasha Romanoff stood by his right. Thor was with them to explain some things, in case they needed a god's help.

(At times like this, having a king to talk to other political leaders would be great. Or maybe the original people who brought this team together. The best one would be to have someone who would fight for the team and not stop talking unless the point they were trying to make was heard, even if it meant cursing and shouting at the most important people of the world. Unfortunately, they were all unavailable, so they'd have to make do.)

They had a bit of hope when they were joined by a certain CEO with red hair and tired ( _lost_ ) eyes as they entered the building where the meeting was to be held. Rhodes had hugged her tightly, and they exchanged whispered words of encouragement before moving on. Thor silently followed them, Natasha glanced at them once before continuing to their destination, and Steve couldn't even bring himself to look at the wife of the man he had left in Siberia.

It was all a blur now, Steve would think, as they sat in the common area of the compound they used to call home.

It's been relatively quiet. No one still knew what to say, so no one tried. They would sit at the sofas for hours, and the television was just turned off permanently because nothing was showing anyway.

The entire world was still trying to heal.

Barton had turned up two days after the event some dedicated reporters had decided to call "The Wipeout", "The Past End", or the "Fated Apocalypse". He walked in with black bag on his shoulder, and made eye contact with Natasha before nodding to everyone and proceeding to his room. Natasha followed after a second.

Everyone heard the sound of glass clinking together in his bag — they knew it was filled ones because they've gotten too familiar with the sound — but no one said a word.

A few days later, he mentioned trying to find Scott — the man who could become David and Goliath back when they were in Germany — but he couldn't find him. The guy he was known to be in contact with a lot was also affected by the snap and so was his current on-the-run coworkers. He tried going to the family, knowing Scott had a child, but the woman was too distraught over the loss of her daughter and her husband.

The tower was full of people (Rhodes had convinced Pepper to stay there, Shuri would go once in a while when she felt too many memories haunting her in Wakanda, a raccoon, there would be a reporter or a civilian knocking on their door almost every other day and asking for answers they can't give), but it had never felt emptier.

All they could feel was the missing presence of other people who are supposed to be in their lives.

There was so much silence everywhere, even FRIDAY wouldn't talk (Pepper left the room with tears threatening to spill when she found out), which is why it was such a surprise when music started playing from the speakers.

People started rushing to the living room to ask each other what was happening. They were all so confused as an electric guitar continued to play that no one made the connection.

"Is this anyone's phone?" Steve asked. His question was quickly shut down once they decided it was definitely from the speakers.

"Wait," Rhodes raised his hand as if asking for silence. "I... I think I know this song..."

Clint raised an eyebrow. "Does that matter? We might be in the process of getting hacked right now."

"I know this song." Rhodes insisted strongly. "It's... It's a song by a band named Black Sabbath or something. I know because Tony and I used to listen—"

He cut himself off as he realized what he said and immediately looked to Pepper. She had closed her eyes and was breathing deeply, in attempts to calm herself down.

By this point, the instrumental was coming to an end and the others have caught on onto what the music might mean.

"He's alive." Natasha murmured, a memory involving her plane getting hacked to play music from years ago resurfacing in her mind.

"Signal's very weak." A voice spoke during the time the lyrics of the song would have been heard. "Gotta keep this short. I'm Tony Stark, headed to you in a spaceship. Don't shoot."

The message ended with another sound of static. "I apologize for my unavailability for the past few days. Boss is on his way to Wakanda with an estimated time of arrival at 4 A.M. tomorrow. A Stark quinjet headed there will be ready for takeoff in ten minutes."

"Thank you, FRIDAY." A whisper caught everyone's attention. Pepper stood up, her eyes filled with newfound hope, and all signs of exhaustion from dealing with Tony's absence and the company she still had to carry on her shoulders was gone in an instant and replaced with determination. She looked around at the people who stared back at her. "I'll be going to Wakanda. Any of you are free to join."

"Don't you think that it might be safer for you to stay? We don't know if this is real..."

A smile finds its way on Pepper's face as she looked at Steve. "It sounds like you're planning to stop me from entering my own property, Captain. The quinjet is _mine_ , and I can stop it from leaving even if I'm not on it. Have you forgotten that I'm a Stark now?" She took a step towards him, not at all fazed by his size. "That may be my husband on his way back, and you can be damn sure I'll be there to welcome him home." She kept his gaze for a second before walking out of the room with Rhodes closely following behind.

"What now?" The question was voiced out by Clint. He stared at the five others that were left in the room with him.

"Stark's the smartest out of all of us." Natasha immediately replied. "And he was out there, probably as the first line of defense."

Clint nodded, seeing the point she was trying to make. "If anyone could come up with a solution to put everything back to the way it was, it would be him."

"And chances are, he's with my crew." Rocket added quickly. "That includes people who know a lot about Thanos. We'll have better luck in coming up with a way to defeat him."

"We'd be able to use your knowledge of the galaxy to find where he went." Thor pointed out.

"Then we go to Wakanda." Another voice piped up. Bruce stood from his seat. "It's not gonna be easy to plan a welcoming party this quick."

Steve took all of this into account and whatever doubts he had about the situation had vanished. He stood as the final decision was clear to everyone.

"Suit up."

 ** _\--(A)--_**

 **a/n_ what a sorry excuse for a filler chapter honestly this could have been 50x better but i dont knOW HOW TO DIALOGUE**

 **some behind the scenes fact abt this ch, i had to list down the people left alive cause i kept adding those that were gone (notice how i never mentioned anyone was actually dead cause i dONT BELIEVE)**

 **last chapter comin up soon** ,


	8. Chapter 8: A Reunion

**a/n_ thanks for sticking around**

 **Disclaimer: Marvel isn't mine because if it is, I would have personally just killed Thanos with my own hands tyvm**

 **- _-(A)--_**

 **Chapter 8: A Reunion**

"Are we good to go?"

"Yes, everything is stable. We can proceed." Nebula replied as she went to sit on one of the two chairs, looking over the planet they were headed to. A button was pressed, and they were off in the fastest (but safest) speed they could go while being in stealth mode. They hadn't realized that that function existed in the ship because Tony was new to all these space stuff and Nebula was a bit skeptical about the fact that their ship lasted this long. That was until Tony decided to tinker around with some things that looked familiar.

Retro-reflective panels.

Hopefully, the stealth mode, FRIDAY hacking several government servers, and the Avengers being aware of the situation would be enough to help him land safely without anyone trying to shoot him down or take over his ship. He knows he's unlucky, but he can't be _that_ bad.

He murmurs to himself — rechecking every button, every switch. He tells himself how unbelievable it is to be looking at the Earth with this view, how amazing it is that he's in a ship he built, how fortunate he must be to say he's traveled so far, and how he's coming back to tell the tale. He nervously taps his fingers on the armrest and constantly bounces his leg while his own whispers take over his mind until Tony becomes a bit hypnotized.

He talks to himself because using words to distract is something he has mastered over the years, and he really needs to be distracted right now. He didn't want to bother Nebula with it (Stark not wanting to bother someone? _What a surprise_.) because she was too busy monitoring the parts of the ship Tony wasn't overly familiar with, so he had to work with himself. It wasn't that hard — after all, he always claimed to not be a team player.

But the distraction was welcome. Tony's brain went autopilot as his hands did the work on the ship and his mind is lulled to serenity by his words. Unfortunately, he didn't get to observe and take note of how the ship entered the atmosphere or how he could improve it if he had to, but the distraction was better than recalling the last time he went falling back to earth.

At least this time, there's someone with him. And at least this time, he gets a say on how fast he falls and where he lands.

Entering the atmosphere was easy, barely even noticeable, as the ship was able to adjust by itself. But Tony didn't expect the landing to be so... anticlimactic.

He didn't want his ship (Yes, _his_. And Nebula's, but she said she didn't care. They have poured so much effort in making this work, so yes, he will claim this spaceship as his.) to be hit by some sort of nuclear weapon. He didn't want the outer layers of the ship peeling off as they made their way down. He didn't want to be forced to have a crash landing that might mean they make it to earth, but not alive. He didn't want bad things, but it just always seemed to happen.

It was a nice surprise to have everything going safe and well until his brain took control again, and he found himself switching the spaceship off and getting ready to step outside after a safe landing. He looked through the window and the sight of Earth's soil and actual human beings brought such a relief to him. Maybe those human beings were holding spears or weapons of some sort that were aimed towards him, but he was here.

Honestly, he didn't think he'd make it. The wound was still slowly bleeding, the food was constantly running out, and there was always the possibility of being lost.

The ramp went down, and he walked out first with Nebula quietly following a few steps behind. Tony was practically dragging out his suit because some pieces of it were still in the process of being repaired, but no one made any sudden noise or approached them until they were on solid ground.

He looked up from his suit to see Nebula eying everyone dangerously, as if she was about to attack when one of them makes a move (he would know, Tony's seen the blue humanoid in action in one of the planets they had to stop at before). So he moved his gaze to the party waiting for him a few feet away.

Oh wow, it's the original Avengers. And a raccoon.

How exciting.

As they slowly walked towards him, the Captain leading the group, he caught sight of Pepper watching anxiously through the glass windows of the building behind them. He couldn't tell if he's glad that she's behind the walls following some sort of safety rules to ensure she's safe or if he's disappointed she won't be the first person he talks to. Rhodey was there too, though he looked a bit displeased, so he's betting that Rogers had asked him to stay back first.

"Tony?" Bruce takes his attention. "Are you... Are you really Tony Stark?" His eyes roam his face and glance at the arc reactor subtly glowing through the thin shirt he was wearing.

Wordlessly, Tony tapped on the arc reactor twice before looking up at them with a shrug. He knows they're only being careful, but he still felt like giving a stupid answer for a stupid question.

"We need you to be serious, Stark." It was the redhead-turned-blonde who spoke up this time. "The world is in chaos right now, we do not need you to add more trouble into it." Her tone caused Tony to raise a brow as he opened his mouth to reply.

But in a flash, Pepper had suddenly run past the doors and the guards and the group of so-called heroes and vigilantes, just to welcome him with open arms.

"Oh my god, Tony. You told me you'd never do this to me again. I can't believe you did this to me again. I can't believe you're alive, but god, I never lost hope. Thank you, thank you, thank you for coming back. I cannot believe what you did." She spoke in rushed whispers to his ear, sounding close to crying. Tony hugged her back, pulling her close to him as much as he can, ignoring the pain from the wound. He whispered back his own apologies, his own gratefulness at the fact that Pepper was still alive, and a request for a rescheduling of their dinner plans.

She pulled away with a sniffle and looked him in the eyes, combing her fingers through his hair like she always did. "I hate you."

"So, is that a no for dinner?" He smiled. "I love you too."

So Pepper still was the first person he talked to. Now, he only had a few people to look forward to and the person about to interrupt the moment was not one of them.

"Pepper, I—"

"I know." Her eyes shifted to look at him, glaring. "But I think I know my husband when I see him."

Tony pulled Pepper back a bit, almost hesitating. "It's alright. He just wants you safe. I would've done the same." He nodded respectfully to his old colleague, still not really knowing what to say to him but knowing there's a lot.

Natasha stepped in beside Rogers and Rhodes was quick to follow to stand beside Tony, placing a hand on his shoulder as if checking if he was really there. The heart attacks Tony gives Pepper and Rhodey, the two most wonderful and patient human beings on Earth, makes him think he doesn't deserve them.

The female assassin started rattling off basic safety questions and Tony answered them quickly and professionally as the rest of the team also walked up; with them was someone he believes to be the current leader of Wakanda.

"Mr. Stark. It is unfortunate we have to meet this way. I was always a fan of your work."

"And I yours, though you did such a job on hiding it all. Queen Shuri, yes?" They shook hands, each holding a serious expression despite wanting to be friendly. It's just so hard to smile when there are so many things to be worried about.

She lightly shook her head. "As of now, you can just call me Shuri. I am merely taking over along with the other tribal leaders as we continue to... overcome this situation."

"Are you only ones on that ship?" Tony had failed to notice the raccoon Nebula had told him about restlessly attempting to peek through the doors of the ship.

His heart immediately dropped when the genetically-enhanced animal looked directly at him for answers. Tony glanced at Nebula, who looked away, as he recalled the time he had asked about the rest of the so-called Guardians of the Galaxy. She had mentioned that it might be better for him to explain what had happened since she was still not completely trusted by the others.

"Yes." He answered blankly, looking at him in the eyes. There really was no other way to say it. Sugar-coating doesn't work for situations like these. He saw the raccoon's ears twitch as it clenched its hands? Paws?

"Where is the tree? Groot?" Nebula spoke for the first time as the animal walked away.

"He was also one of the losses." Thor (with a new haircut, Tony quietly noted) mentioned gravely.

Banner stood beside the god, looking more fidgety than Tony was used to seeing him. "Maybe we should take this discussion inside?" He suggested.

 _ **\--(A)--**_

After confirming with Shuri that his ship would not be touched ( _"It's fragile. I know your scientists are amazing, but I need to be the one handling it."_ ), they headed inside to sit at what looked like a room for meetings. Pepper had kindly suggested that he rest for an hour or two, but he knows that there are pressing questions only he and Nebula could answer. Proper food, hot baths, and a soft mattress would have to wait.

Knowing how to handle the media, the company, and the public at a young age, Tony was able to handle and direct the discussion towards where he wanted it to go. He and Nebula listened to the tale of what went down here. They talked about how there was an army and that they were winning. But suddenly they just lost. In a snap.

They recounted those that they remember was lost, and how the T.V. is either showing an emergency message or a summarized version of the explanations that they have. Tony heard about how the world is in confused chaos.

He had forgotten what Bruce told him — Vision, his own creation, was such a huge part of this. And suddenly he had to deal with the grief of losing someone again. Wanda, Sam, T'Challa. People he didn't really spend the longest time with, but he knew them. It's so terrible, not knowing what exact words was said in their last conversation.

Tony absorbed the information he had received for the past hour. "I'd offer my condolences but they don't do much, do they?" His voice cracked and his eyes were closed. He felt a hand on his.

"Tony, what happened?" Pepper's voice caused him to open his eyes and look at her. She was there because he requested it. There was no way he could recount what happened if she wasn't there to keep him grounded.

He leaned back, trying to focus on one spot at the table and keeping his voice monotone. "It started when we were in New York." _Cause that's where everything bad happens_ , his brain bitterly supplied. "They were just two but it was too much. Strange, he does magic, was with us an—"

"The sorcerer?" Thor interrupted thoughtfully. Tony shrugged, he still wasn't exactly sure what the doctor was.

"He was taken and he had one of the stones. Green. Time. I had to follow. I had to try and help." He shook his head at Pepper as some attempt of explanation. "But when I followed, the kid followed."

His voice turned in to a whisper at that last part, and he had to close his eyes. Pepper immediately squeezed his hands tightly. "May has... May has been dropping by," she said softly. "She asks about him, but I never knew what to say."

"I'll talk to her." He replied instantly, regaining his voice. "I'll have to do it." Tony took one more breath before continuing on with the story. They got Strange, developed this plan to get to Thanos before he gets to them, and met up with this other group. The plan was working, until it didn't. Tony had to fight Thanos by himself at some point, but it was all for nothing. It was his turn to mention those he had failed to return to Earth with.

His mouth was a bit dry from talking too much. "The plan failed when Mantis found out Gamora," he instinctively glanced at Nebula, "was sacrificed by Thanos. Quill lost control, but I think we didn't really have a chance."

"What makes you say that?" Rocket, who had joined in the middle of his explanation, asked ever so quietly that Tony almost thought no one said anything.

"Because Strange had looked through all the possibilities with the Time Stone and said there was only _one_ way we could win." Tony sat up straight, feeling like his every word was echoing throughout the entire world right now. "When he gave away the stone just to keep me alive, I thought it didn't make any sense. When he told me that there was no other way before he turned into ashes, I thought it didn't make any sense.

"But it does now. The time I had to think over every single thing that has happened made me realize some things that I was too shocked to process. There were things Strange told me before everything happened. There were things Thanos told me that helped me piece things together."

"What are you saying?" Shuri questioned. "Are you saying we could still win?"

Tony looked over the room, the eyes of old colleagues, new friends, and trusted family looking at him for some news. He could _hear_ their minds spinning faster than ever before as they await the words from him, a man Thanos recognized to be cursed with knowledge.

"I'm saying I have a plan." Tony glanced at them once more. "It's going to take a while, and there are so many things that I have to work out, but I have a plan."

The End.

 _ **\--(A)--**_

 **a/n_ final a/n in the next page abt epilogues and other things waaah**


	9. Closing Remarks

**Apr. 26 2018 - July 19, 2018**

 **I FINALLY FINISHED IT! MY FIRST AVENGERS FIC AND I FINALLY FINISHED IT THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE TO CELEBRATE IT WITH ME.**

Points to be discussed cause this is gonna be a long a/n so you might wanna skip parts

Epilogues/sequels and other short stories

some things abt this story

Other avengers stories i hope you read

thanks

 **EPILOGUES/SEQUELS/FOLLOW-UPS**

I DO plan to have follow-ups on this story,

It's gonna be a series of one-shots published separately (cause apparently thats what i was supposed to do w this one) and the series itself is gonna be called Stark Apologies featuring Aunt May, Pepper, and Steve ((these are diff from CWK because theyre actually gonna talk and Im gonna try to dialogue woo)) It's gonna be loosely related to this, but can also still be read as stand alone

I'm also planning to just have one separate one shot of Nebula and Tony's interaction on the ship... but im not putting that here cause idk if im ever gonna do it tell me if youre up for it

And rn I have multiple one shots on the way of how other series (including friends, sherlock, and b99) are faring after the snap so check that out if you want

In case I still havent started on any of these before Captain Marvel youre free to message me and remind me pls

 **CWK**

this is gonna be very short but i just hope someone realised i was referencing harley when i mentioned retro reflective panels, also idk how to fit capt marvel in here cause i know next to none abt the comics... but i have recently edited ch7 so that it fits in w amatw, any mistakes you might see pLEASE tell me so i can fix it

 **OTHER STORIES**

\- _BEND AROUND THE WIND_ by Scyllaya: definitely an inspiration abt trying to express Tony's thoughts and his Space Adventures, but its frostiron which makes it 50x better

\- _PROTOCOL SOTERIA_ by Golden Finches: ive mentioned this before but its such a wonderful headcanon abt afterevents of civil war, was a hUGE inspiration regarding the Steve chapter

\- _SIEN, ILIEN_ by niewypowiedziane: tony being an absolutely amazing father i just need more irondad content

\- _HOW TO SURVIVE BEING AN SI EMPLOYEE_ by Seito: made me love tony the most even though its not all abt him, very lighthearted and fun to read after thanos snapped your heart out

 **THANKS**

Am gonna keep this short cause no one wants a long a/n (well too late) but i am so thankful for the reviews and the follows and the favorites, yall are so precious i am undeserving,

I hope to see you again in other stories byee

 **#IronManWillLive**

 **#Please**


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